I am going to share with you some experiences that I have recently had, which I have gone on to find that others are also connecting with.  These experiences have illustrated to me just how much we have been needing to heal to be able to be in our full strength and power.  Some of this may resonate with you, some of it may not – please do check how you feel about this and whether it feels significant for you.

Two years ago, I began to connect with another lifetime where I was in a position of significant responsibility and power.  Over the course of several experiences connecting to that lifetime, I found that I was still carrying a tremendous amount of guilt for not having been able to help a lot of people in some very difficult circumstances at that time.  I accepted that story, and thought it best to try to let it go – I was aware of my role, but didn’t know what to do with the experiences.  And then I forgot the story.

I then had a very powerful healing session recently, in which I experienced a large and intimidating – and a bit shadowy! – part of me, with which I had made a contract.  This part of me had agreed to hold me back so that I wouldn’t take on too much responsibility in this life on this Earth when dealing with others publicly (eg as a teacher) until I was ready, and had learned enough about my journey and how I could most lovingly empower and support others in this lifetime.  In the healing session, I was made aware of what my role had been, and why I had agreed to make a contract with myself to hold myself back.  And then, I was able to break it, simply with my intention, and the help of the healer.  I was shown chains around me breaking, and dissolving.

The most interesting and surprising sign of a shift in me – and that I had truly touched upon something significant – was that the sciatica (nerve pain) I have had on and off for 7 years completely disappeared following that healing session.  I had always worked to heal my sciatica on the basis that I felt it was a physical response to issues in this lifetime.  I didn’t even think about my sciatica during the healing session, let alone talk about it.  But I did notice that, in the week following it, I was doing all the things that would normally make it worse – wearing flat shoes, wearing heels, sleeping on uncomfortable mattresses – in addition to being heavily pregnant and the additional pressure that has put on my sciatic nerve.  Nothing happened.  I had no pain.  At all.  Then a second week passed.  No pain, when there should have been.  That was a month ago.  I am now even more pregnant, even less mobile, and despite lots of other gripes and niggles based on physically growing a baby, no sciatica.  At all.

I feel that I broke a significant link.  I shared this with some other people, all of whom found it resonated on some level.  And then I started to think about all of the other Lightworkers that I know, many of whom have or have had some kind of “physical” condition that makes it difficult for them to literally move forward in their lives.  For example, ME, arthritis, joint problems.  Some cases of depression; feelings of self-loathing, and worthlessness.  Some people I have shared this with have identified that this feels linked to another time when they feel they were in positions of responsibility as leaders or teachers or healers, but that – for whatever reasons – they were unable to help large numbers of people who needed it at that time.  Other common difficulties in this life have been difficulties connecting with intuition – perhaps because if we connect with it fully, it is a sign of how truly powerful we are. Another theme has been being afraid to speak up and express ourselves with others – again, if we do, it is a sign of how we recognise and acknowledge our full power. Another common feeling was that of feeling alone / isolated / left behind, based on feelings generated by another experience in another lifetime.

Why am I sharing this with you?  I have been wondering if there is a common theme with Lightworkers – of waiting, of feeling unsure of their paths, of knowing they are here to do something, but feeling fearful of what that is, sometimes feeling uncertain about their ability to make huge strides forward.

Maybe we have all practised what we are to do here in another lifetime.  Maybe we have all been in positions of tremendous responsibility and power, and want to make sure that we are fully ready before being in our full power in this lifetime.  And maybe many of us have made a contract with a part of ourselves that is to hold us back until we are fully ready to step into our full strength and power.  Often we talk about “separation” in coming to the Earth; having separated from the Divine, so that we could learn to heal and integrate all parts of ourselves.  Maybe it could be said that we have split ourselves off from other parts of ourselves (bearing in mind we are said to be the Divine).

Many of us who have ever struggled to connect with our intuition, or who are afraid of speaking our Truth will at times associate that with having been persecuted by others for our abilities in another lifetime.  It can be easy to stay in that place of connecting with having been victimised by others.  Maybe the healing we need to focus on is not so much what we perceive others may have done to us, and feeling safe now, but more healing what we have decided to carry ourselves that holds us back?  Maybe we have chosen to hold ourselves back, and only we can “unchoose” that.

Maybe now is the time – if we haven’t already - to go into ourselves, to find those energetic contracts that we have put into place to hold us back, and allow ourselves to be free of them.  You can do this in simple meditation.  Or you can arrange to see a healer or therapist to work with you.  You may connect with friends in order to do it.  What is holding you back, and why?  What is your story?  What is your journey? Are you ready to assume your full strength and power in this life, and be an even greater inspiration to others?  We have used a range of techniques from energy healing, EFT, EmoTrance, DNA Theta Healing, Hypnotherapy, whatever we have been able to access at any time – but the greatest help seems to have been a conscious understanding and awareness of why we are holding ourselves back.

We each have our gifts.  What will enable you to fully share yours?  What do you need to understand about yourself so you can be free to also step into your full strength and power?

Are you ready to be and share everything that you truly are?

© Dee Apolline 2009

Dee Apolline

Danica (Dee) is the creator of The Big Chi which supports the empowerment of others to live happier, healthier and more positive lives.  Dee has developed the Spiritual Teacher’s Development Programme – a fun, interactive and professional development programme for all spiritual teachers, facilitators, trainers and leaders. It brings together psychological and energetic learning theories including Accelerated Learning and NLP, and aims to enable teachers to confidently and humbly support the spiritual, emotional, physical and mental development of others from a place of unconditional love and compassion, and their truth. 

Dee brings together her many years as a trainer with her experiences as a spiritual teacher, therapist and healer, integrating approaches that include Angelic Reiki, Angel Healing, Aura-Soma, Starseeds, EFT, EmoTrance, TAPAS Acupressure Technique, Reflexology, Angel cards, mediumship, channelling, meditations, and work in mental health, the corporate, public and education sectors with love, compassion and humour to empower people to facilitate their own physical, emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing and development.

Dee is currently working on a Handbook for Spiritual Teachers and developing guided meditations connecting with Starseeds and Angel Healing that will be available on her website as of the end of October 2009.

www.thebigchi.com